she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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