all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He felt like a one man threesome
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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