i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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