You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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