Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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