For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
