Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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