Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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