they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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