I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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