Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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