Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
