Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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