Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
