question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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