question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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