and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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