Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
