break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
