Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
