My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
