I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
