Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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