I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
