I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
