What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
