In the future we'll all be gay
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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