So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
