went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
