my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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