So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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