The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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