So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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