Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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