so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
