This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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