I wish i was in the wii world.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
