id be glad to
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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