He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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