Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
