My first STD was from a foam party
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
