she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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