Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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