the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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