Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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