do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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