i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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