YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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