I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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