is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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