K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize