This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
